5 New Year Anti-Resolutions

27 Dec

As the clock ticks closer and closer to the count down of the new year, many of you are contemplating your new years resolutions. May I suggest you take a queue from new years past and ditch the list? Don’t wait till the new year to begin anew, because there’s no time like the present. So to celebrate here are some anti-resolutions!

1. Refuse to obtain a membership to lose weight. We all know what happens to those infamous gym memberships; they collect dust like that bible in your night stand that hasn’t seen the light of day ever…. Instead invest that money on small home gym equipment that can fit in your apartment. Take a few months, get sexy, and then head to the gym for all the wrong reasons.

2. Speaking of the bible, don’t get all religious “all of a sudden”. There’s nothing more annoying than a friend who was drinking and partying it up alongside you New Years night, and then the very next day telling you you will burn in hell for all eternity.

3. For you non-smokers, pretend to pick up the habit. For some reason or another smokers get extra breaks for behaving badly! Although I don’t want to trade in my delicious Burberry scent to smell like an ash tray, I would like several well deserved Kit Kat breaks away from my desk.

4. Don’t try to get out of debit, be like Nike and Just Do It. FYI Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, Louboutin, and Louis Vuitton are not charities, so it would really help if you stopped donating your money to them as if they’re starving children from the Feed The Hungry foundation.

5. Seeing a shrink is like admitting you have a problem. And maybe you do, but they do that in 12 step programs around the country. Rock the boat a bit and save your money, forgive yourself dammit, and keep it moving! The last thing you need is a person who charges you to listen to your problems. If they really cared it would be free or wouldn’t mind getting paid in gum.

Hopefully these anti-resoulutions has helped you with ditching your new years resolutions list!

Cheers!

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One Response to “5 New Year Anti-Resolutions”

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  1. Tweets that mention 5 New Year Anti-Resoultions: -- Topsy.com - 12/28/2010

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