Being Single For The Holiday’s

21 Dec

At the age of 27 somehow going to holiday gatherings without the “plus 1” is the equivalent to being a leper. Tearing away at my open soars, my family consistently reminding me how quickly I’m approaching 30, and my grandmother’s voice ringing in my ear like an annoying caroler singing Jingle Bells, “Well you have only three years left before you’re 30”, as if 30 is the apocalypse. And  there’s nothing like the work functions, which are similar to county fairs. I just love watching my co-workers clutching to their men like blue ribbon prize pigs, as I think to myself  “no thanks hon, I’m kosher.”

So how does the single gal deal during the holidays? Here are some fun tips!

1. Bring your fabulous gay friend to your holiday parties as a date, so he can tell you how beat you are the entire night. (beat means gorgeous from head to toe). There’s nothing like a well dressed man telling you how fabulous you are all night!

2. Tell your family to shove it or you’ll report them to immigration. If their American tell them you’re a Republican.

3. If you’re having problems with your dad, tell your poppa don’t preach! Tell him you’ve made up your mind, and that you’re keeping your baby. (Madonna circa 1985). He may freak out, and this may cause an uproar, but that’ll show him and he’ll shut up.

4.  If people ask you this famous dreaded question, “so why are you single?” Tell them you’ve pressed the snooze button on your biological clock…it was ticking too damn loud.

5. Spike the conversation after you’ve spiked the punch. All conversations begin the same; what’s your name, and what do you do? After I tell them my name, I love to throw a wrench into the convo by saying I’m a reformed nun who just left the convent last week.

6. Take advantage of being single while you can, and rub it in as much as possible. While your co-workers are holding on to their bacon, clutch your Italian sausage…Although he’s not your boyfriend, bring that hot steamy Italian to your work function and let the good times roll.

7. And last but not least. Flirt, flirt, flirt your little heart away, and be happy! You have no one to answer to, live it up while you can!

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3 Responses to “Being Single For The Holiday’s”

  1. Bella 12/21/2010 at 7:44 pm #

    Hey this is too funny!

    I think it’s better be single at 30 than having 3 kids already and no one to help you out with lol

    Hope to read some of you, and FOLLOW MEEEEEEEEEEEE

    Bella (M)

  2. David 12/22/2010 at 2:28 pm #

    You can flirt with me alllllllll holiday if you like….;-)

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  1. Tweets that mention Being Single For The Holiday’s « City Socialite -- Topsy.com - 12/22/2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Natasha Wix, Natasha Wix. Natasha Wix said: Being Single For The Holidays : http://wp.me/pZOM9-cN […]

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